From rested to burnout

Phase 3: Chronic stress

When fatigue and stress persist, you slowly become overburdened. Your stress system becomes overactive, leading to various physical complaints. You clearly start to feel tension in your body: some experience headaches, others develop muscle pain, neck or back issues, while others get digestive problems or a weakened immune system. Mentally, the symptoms also pile up: you worry more, feel easily irritated, or experience low moods.

Routine becomes your safety net, with unexpected situations feeling increasingly overwhelming. Your capacity to adapt and learn new skills diminishes substantially. You struggle to maintain an overview or get yourself lost in details. You cancel social activities more often. You no longer feel like doing fun things.

Phase 4: Overwhelm

You feel exhausted and emotionally unstable. Even small setbacks can completely throw you off balance. You become much more sensitive to external stimuli. Concentration is difficult, and your mind feels overloaded. A lack of quality sleep plays a significant role: you no longer rest well, and everything feels like an enormous effort. Even simple decisions become challenging. You might start feeling anxious or even depressed. This all happens because you have no more energy reserves left. You are in pure survival mode. You have ignored all signals and symptoms up to this point, which is why you have reached this stage.

Phase 5: Burnout – You can no longer continue

Where in the overwhelm phase you might have still pushed through on sheer willpower, that is no longer an option now. Burnout feels like a collapse or implosion, and you have no choice but to stop. You are physically and mentally exhausted. Even the smallest tasks, such as grocery shopping or answering an email, feel insurmountable. Your mind no longer cooperates: thinking, remembering, and concentrating become nearly impossible. Emotionally, you either feel overwhelmed or completely numb.

At some point, the final straw breaks the camel’s back. Usually, it is something small, like your child’s question, losing something, or a computer issue. Suddenly, this triggers an overwhelming feeling of not being able to go on.

My personal burnout experience

I have experienced multiple periods of strong overwhelm in my life and one full burnout. I vividly remember when it truly hit me. I was in my early thirties, working as a flight attendant. Things had not been going well for a while, and I was in the middle of a program to reintegrate back to work after a period of being unable to do so. We were flying back to Amsterdam from Tokyo. Due to the 8-hour time difference, I had not been able to sleep in Tokyo and had to fly 13 hours back without rest. The flight was during the day, meaning all passengers were awake, and there was a lot to do.

Two hours before landing, I stood in the galley with a tray of drinks to serve the passengers. But when I wanted to go, I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place and couldn’t step into the aisle. Normally, I would still be to push through by manning up, but this time my body took over. That’s when I knew it was serious. I set down my tray, regained control of my body, and immediately called in sick to the purser.

That was my last flight as a flight attendant. It took years to recover. Now, about twenty years later, I still feel the effects of that burnout. With the knowledge I have now, I realize that with better guidance and the right approach, I could have emerged much stronger from that burnout than I did.

Which phase are you in?

The phases described above serve as a guide and may overlap. Are you in phase 1? Fantastic! You are one of the lucky ones! From phase 2 onward, it is already essential to take the signals seriously. The sooner you recognize them, the faster you can recover.

What to do

My advice: don’t let it get to the point of burnout! Prioritize your health and take good care of both your body and mind. To use airline terminology: put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. You cannot take care of others if you are not able to take care of yourself.

Make sure to get enough quality rest and set boundaries, both for yourself and towards others. And seek help in time if needed. There is always an underlying reason why people experience chronic stress, become overworked/overwhelmed, or end up burned out. With the right coaching, you can discover and reshape those patterns, allowing you to return to phase 1: rested and balanced.